Thursday, January 20, 2011

Blog Review

I took a moment to look back over the few posts that I have written and I realized that if someone I love very much, kinda like you would love a member of your family, were to read one of these blogs, they may get the wrong idea that I'm not my usual chipper self. How wrong they would be!

As I started establishing my blog site, I wanted to be able to refer back to these posts sometime in the future and remember what was going on in my life at the time. Because I like to one, look back and rejoice at how the challenges were successfully met and two, remind myself God is faithful to His promises and He has never and will never fail me.

So while my posts to this point have been sullen, that is NO reflection on who I am, how I go through my life and with what attitude. Here's why....

I like me. I sometimes get pissed at some of the dumb ass things I do but I get over it. I don't take life too serious because there will always be (as this blog is named) trials and tribulations. Always. Even the Bible says so. So a person can scream and holler and cry and worry about it, whatever "it" is at the moment. That's not me. I've never been a screamer. I used to be a worrier but I got over myself. I am a cryer though. I cried when Marley died. I've cried at the end of some movies. I've cried with my wife when we've been hurt in some way. But I've never cried over the state of affairs in my life. Not worth it. It's temporary. And it always passes.

OK, some health things won't pass. But it is what it is so I accept they're there and get on with life. I like it that way.

So nothing surprises me. Well, what some drivers do during my daily commute surprises me. How those idiots got a drivers license surprises me. Well, I guess people in general surprise me. That someone can hate that much. That man can do to their fellow man such attrocities. That a person would leave a lucrative life here to go to a third world country to provide free medical care. That a young man would face down a tank in Tenneman Square for the sake of freedom. Yep, people surprise me every day. Silly people.

So here's the deal. As I said, I like me. I think I'm a funny guy. I don't laugh as much as I would like to but I do love to laugh. And to hear my family laugh. And I'm a happy guy. OK, I'm not the class clown 24/7. But I love life and don't fear death. I am blessed WAY beyond what I deserve. I have all of my senses (common sense doesn't count) and the ability to get out of bed and do whatever it is I want or need to do that day. I try to see the best in people (driving skills aside). I would never intentionally harm someone. I love my God and my faith. So at the risk of sounding over-the-top arrogant, I've got a lot going for me, I think I'm a pretty good guy, and dog-gone-it, people like me.

Depressed? Don't associate me with that word. Old? My body may agree but my mind doesn't. And to be honest, I don't like people to tell me I'm old. I'll let y'all know when I'm old. But don't hold your breath. Worried? No need. Doesn't do any good and it makes you look old. Too quiet? Nope. I don't talk just for the sake of talking. If I've got something to contribute to a conversation, such as a smart ass remark, I'll throw it in there. And I hope it gets a laugh cause that's usually what I'm going for.

So anybody that thinks I'm any of those things can kiss my wrinkled ass. Have a nice day!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

MY BARK IS WORSE THAN MY BITE

I knew as I got older my body would start to rebel. I just never thought it would be in the dental area. Over the past year, I've lost three teeth to the tooth-ripper-outer. At least I have a good one who also believes in pain meds. Now it looks like I'll lose number four in the next few days.

Went home early today with my jaw looking like I had swallowed a golf ball and the excrutiating pain that goes along with eating golf balls. Immediately started popping pain pills and antibotics. Should sleep well tonight (which would be a vast improvement over the past week).

Again, another "development" has added to my frustration with my sale efforts on the second edition of my magazine. Since the first issue hit the streets in mid-December and a deadline of mid-January for the next one, I've had to battle battles businesses closed for the Christmas/New Years holidays, businesses closed for snow, businesses closed for MLK, and now self-inflicted wounds like this tooth. Add to that a shortened sales time between issues and this has been a disaster. And getting to the decision-maker in the medical field (which the majority of the sales calls involve) is a difficult enough task by itself. I'm pissed....at things out of my control and things that should be in my control (teeth) but my lazy ass didn't get them taken care of until they became an unbearable pain in the ass and mouth and feet....blah, blah, blah.

And while I work for great people, they still expect agressive sales revenue generation and it ain't happening. Not good for maintaining long-term employment.

But alas, I still have a smile on my swollen face and a song in my heart. Just wish it didn't hurt so much to sing it.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Day 2

Even though my mind feels like mush, I want to get in the habit of posting every day so here I am. My day started with getting a new windshield. Expensive way to clean your windshield. And I just love waiting for service calls. Dude was to be here at 8:30AM. Finally at 10AM I headed out in Pat's car. I guess he got here around 11. Guess he used to work for Cablevision.

It's been a gray, depressing day weather wise and mental wise. Just one of those days that occassionally come along and then pass. I get another chance at a new day in a few hours. Yay!! And fortunately I don't ever get a run of these kinda days...just one here and there.

So no words of wisdom or smart ass remarks tonight. Just a post to get in the habit. Hoping tomorrow's a better day and this post will be more upbeat. I hate feeling this way and I'm not even sure how to describe how it is I feel....so until tomorrow....

Sunday, January 16, 2011

My First Blog

I have just lost my blogging virginity. This is my first time. If anyone cares to check in on me occassionally, be gentle with me. I'm new at this.

So why would I want to create a blog at this time in my life? Well, I am going through the most exciting, frightening, growing, trying and rewarding time in my life. I've often thought over the past year about a writing a diary. Something I could look back over to see the course my trials and tests of life have taken as they become victories.

2010 was an interesting year for me. A 30+ year newspaper career came to an end through no choice of my own. I dealt with my first time of unemployment since I joined the workforce when I was around 16. I was blessed (as I am in many ways) to have a relatively short time with no job. So 2010 went out with me holding on to gainful employment.

I have grown and backslid spiritually during the last year than in any previous time in my life. I have a strong faith. It has kept me at peace during a tumultous time. And it has frustrated me as I study the Word and learn that I am such an infant in my walk with God. I've never thought of myself as prideful. But the Holy Spirit has a way of convicting me and showing me I'm not as humble as I pride myself in thinking I am. I want so much to be Christlike in a desire to be the Christian God wants me to be. But I can open just about any page in the New Testament and quickly find a verse that convicts me as a man still living in the flesh and not the spirit. But as the saying goes, "Be patient with me. God isn't finished with me yet". So I continue to try and fail with a few successes thrown in to keep me going at it. I believe I will get there some day only because I know that is what God wants for me and His love for me won't let me lose the fight. But honestly, sometimes I get so tired of the fight; so disappointed in myself. On the bright side, it helps me love my neighbor more than myself because there are times I just don't love me very much. So much for that pity party. God is good and His will be done.

So here I will be spilling my mental guts for the purpose of looking back over it in the future and perhaps being able to enjoy overcoming what my "challenge du jour" was. What is so fantastic is that throughout this life, God has faithfully held my hand through every dark valley and brought me back into the light....His light. I hope to someday be as faithful to Him as He is to me. I guess that's my ultimate goal.

My plan is to post something every day because life usually shows me something every day that gets a thought process going that I need to write down. So the blog is for me. Anyone who for some reason...boredom, a death wish, a break from watching the paint dry...wants to drop by and read my ramblings is welcome to do so.

I start this blog a very happy man. Greatly blessed. Curious as to what the future holds. Getting physically older by the minute but mentally still feeling like I'm twenty (and sometimes wishing I was). Frustrated over a body that has declared mutiny. A man who loves his wife more than life itself. With two kids and their spouses that I could not be more proud of. And two grandkids that bring a joy to my heart that I didn't know could exist.

Well, here I go on this blogging ride about life as a rollercoaster. With God's safety bar lowered across my lap while I raise my hands high over my head. You know, that's not a bad analogy. On a rollercoaster, all the screaming is done as you're plunging seemingly at a suicidal rate towards the bottom. But then we are at peace and enjoying the ride as we slowly (and under control) start the climb from out of the bottom. Ever realized that you're looking up at that point....looking up toward heaven and you're at peace.

So I'll close my very first blog with this thought. Keep looking up to God and know His peace which most assuredly passes all understanding. I sure don't understand it. But I hope I never have to face life without it.

Peace be with you and me.

And I try to always remember, this too shall pass.